Melancholy - never a desired state of mind. Let's leave this 'place' and move on

I haven't felt this sad in a long, long time. I used to write a diary, but I left that habit a long, long time ago, too. You know what women do when they are sad? If you're married, you would know. If you got sisters and girlfriends, you should know too. Otherwise, this is how it looks like.

I see my friends who are in the same boat as I am, that is in a horrible financial situation (the economy isn't helping). You know what they do? They say it out. They talk to this group of friends, and then that group of friends, everywhere. I try to talk it out like they do. But in a day or so, I normally wind up wondering if that friend of mine would reveal the info to someone else, or worse still, use it against me?

It doesn’t help that my ex-boss is someone who cannot be disappointed because this is what he’ll do:

1. Start to give me the pros and cons of the subject of gossip (usually a human being)
2. Tell me what the ‘subject’ did or did not do which seems to affect him so much.
3. Boast about how much he has helped or guided the ‘subject’ towards mending weaknesses or obstacles.

Frankly speaking, if you are my friend and you said this to me about someone, I’m totally fine about it. But if you keep repeating this gossip, boasting on number 3, I cannot look at you the same way I look at other people (haha). Not anymore, I’m afraid.

Why am I talking about my boss? Because I look at him, and my distrust grows. I am totally discouraged from talking about my problems. It’s a pity that the community I live in lack loyalty and honour. The kind of feeling you get when you mention the name of someone you truly respect, like Mother Teresa and Gandhi. We should actually be feeling that way: reverence, towards our parents and grand parents. We should have loyalty among friends whom you can trust to be able to keep your secrets. But unfortunately, times have changed.

My fellow friends and I are living in a country where nearly everyone [Gen X & Gen Y] is either an only child or have only 1 other sibling in the family. Do you know what that does to people? Well, that depends on whether you know about the middle child syndrome.

 
Once you read this, you’ll know what I’m trying to say. Here’s an excerpt from Urban Dictionary if you don’t feel like clicking away :)

“Because the bigger sibling is the first born and typically an over-achiever, they are the most important and get the most privileges. A younger sibling is the 'baby' of a family and gets away with more as well as being the most looked-after. Middle-child syndrome starts when the middle child is squeezed between these two and have trouble finding their 'niche' in the family.”

Imagine living in a city populated by about 5 million people and generation X & Y consists of people who are the only child OR they had only 1 sibling in the family.

The eldest sibling who is typically the over achiever (you’d think this is good right?), are the self important ones and who get the most privileges. This group of people is more than half of this demography.

Who makes up the other half? People who get away with almost anything as well as being the most looked-after (the younger sibling/ the baby). Not only do they get away with most things, they are even being defended by like-minded friends who have the same characteristics as well as their parents. Imagine being in the service industry and having to deal with them (think about it), ho ho ho. Not easy, my friend.

How did I even come up with this? Because I deal with huge amounts of people on a daily basis. Even though I said I don’t care, the truth is, that I do.

Where do I see loyalty and honour nowadays? Only in movies and novels. I’m afraid I don’t think it exists in my country or my neighbouring country anymore. When the neighbouring country is one that is so full of corruption that is so obvious to those who are looking, it’s hard to believe that there’s anyone you can actually trust.

You’re gonna tell me, “Well that’s how you get psychologically unsound. By keeping all of 30 years of anger and frustration, sadness and failures.” Or what are you going to tell me? Leave me a comment.